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Let your child learn to face failure

October 2022

Written by: Director of Curriculum and Training, Financial Education Association

          Mr. Kwan Hin Bun

 

In many cases, the biggest blow to a child is not the failure itself, but his or her understanding of the failure. For example, if a child is not selected to represent the school in an inter-school competition, the usual reason they think of is that they are not as good as their classmates. But there may be other reasons behind it. Maybe the teacher is worried that if he gets hurt, he won’t be able to represent the school in other more important competitions. This is not to teach children to avoid responsibility, but sometimes we need to make them understand that it is indeed their own factors that lead to failure.

 

Parents need to remind their children that anyone who starts something will always have difficulty. Parents should encourage their children to persevere to the end, without taking the requirement of perfection too seriously. Don’t be impatient to provide help to your child; let them try to meet the challenge in a different way. For example, if your child has difficulty learning to write Chinese characters, let him or her copy them first.

 

As children, their attitudes toward people and things around them are often unstable and easily influenced by emotions and other factors. When faced with difficulties and failures, they tend to develop negative emotions and fail to deal with failures with the right attitude, thus creating resilience. At this time, parents should tell their children in time, failure is not terrible, as long as a little brave can do a good job, learn from the failure to see how to do next time. Parents should consciously use their children’s failures as educational opportunities to guide their children to regain their courage and try again with boldness and confidence. At the same time, educate your child to face difficulties and setbacks, to improve the ability to overcome difficulties and resilience.

In life, no one can remain unbeaten for a long time, like China’s “hurdle king” Liu Xiang who also lost in the London Olympics. Only those who are brave enough to face failure will have the chance to show their smiles of success again.

 

Parents should know how to teach their children to be brave in the face of failure, because no one is always successful in life. We understand from childhood that “failure is the mother of success”, so there is nothing to be afraid of when we face up to failure. However, if we look at our understanding of this statement, we should focus on “success” rather than “failure”, so that our recognition of failure is still conditional. When failure is no guarantee of future success, Failure, is still a shame and a sin. Therefore, parents must be clear about whether they are teaching their children to face failure or to avoid it!

Parents Daily 為全港父母提供關於親子育兒、升學的豐富短片和內容,專輯內容包括「有星有Say」、「校長有話兒」等節目。我們以輕鬆活潑的方式為父母們提供培養孩子的資訊,更會邀請幼小校長、名人、資深教育工作者等分享教學、親子心得和實戰經驗,讓父母可以在這裡得到實用資訊之餘,更可認識更多互相分享、互相扶持的同行者。

“No!” “Not allowed!” “No!” Does it really work?

October 2022

Written by : Child Behavioral Emotional Therapist
           Ip Wai Lun

 

Many times, parents get angry because their children don’t follow the rules or challenge some bottom line. For example, if a parent doesn’t want a child to touch something, the parent will just say, “Hey! Don’t touch it!” and “No!” and “Stop”, the child will hear many of these “No! and “No! In fact, this will often make children feel that they have done something wrong, which in turn will undermine their confidence and make them avoid doing things in the future.

 

As a parent, what can you do to make your child follow the rules without undermining his self-confidence? What kind of talking skills can parents use?

 

For example, if a child is angry and his face is red, we can use the following “three-step” approach.

 

Part I: Say How He Feels

“Mommy and Daddy see how angry you are ……”

“Look at your red face. ……”

Parents can try to help their children say how they feel. This is the first and most important step.

 

Part 2: Setting boundaries

When a child has a temper tantrum and may hit someone, parents should immediately set a line: “Okay, we can’t hurt others. Help him to set a compliance line.

 

Part 3: Arranging a platform for diversion

If the child has already hit someone, the parent should arrange a platform for the child to channel the anger.

 

For example, the parent can say, “Oh! I see you are so angry that your face is red and you want to hit someone! Why don’t you show Daddy how angry you are? “Why don’t you hit this shark doll?”

 

Maybe the child will say, “Yes, okay! and then hit the shark doll. At this point, the parent should tell the child, “Oh, Daddy is really angry to see you.

By allowing the child to express his or her emotions, the child will understand that when he or she has negative emotions, they won’t be accepted by the parents.

 

If parents use the above three steps, not only will they accept their children’s negative emotions, but they will also not condone their misbehavior, and most importantly, children will learn to follow the rules.

Parents Daily 為全港父母提供關於親子育兒、升學的豐富短片和內容,專輯內容包括「有星有Say」、「校長有話兒」等節目。我們以輕鬆活潑的方式為父母們提供培養孩子的資訊,更會邀請幼小校長、名人、資深教育工作者等分享教學、親子心得和實戰經驗,讓父母可以在這裡得到實用資訊之餘,更可認識更多互相分享、互相扶持的同行者。

“I’m so tired” How to improve the feeling of tiredness?

October 2022

Written by: Chinese doctor Yiu Yee Chiu

 

As a parent, it can be exhausting to take care of a family and work. In my spare time, I like to watch talk shows and listen to the unique views of celebrities on life and their outlook on life. Once they talked about the busy life of Hong Kong people and how fatigue seems to be an inevitable “by-product”. However, we were told that we are not tired because we are all like that and it is just a normal physiological reaction. So, is this true?

 

Tiredness is actually a subjective feeling, so only you can understand it. In some cases, it can be seen in behavior, such as reluctance to get up, weakness in speech, lack of normal physical strength, etc. According to a Chinese Medicine Practitioner, fatigue involves the five viscera and six internal organs, mainly the spleen, liver and kidneys, with the spleen being the most important, which falls under the category of “deficiency fatigue”.

 

Three types of fatigue have different causes

Fatigue can be classified from different perspectives. One way is to classify fatigue into three categories: physical, mental, and psychological. Physical fatigue is the most common and the most easily noticed. After normal work, it is normal to feel tired and can recover after rest. However, if you cannot recover after rest, or if the number and degree of fatigue is too much, this is fatigue, which can also be said to be a “sub-health” state.

 

Brain fatigue is caused by overuse of the brain. The most basic symptoms are memory loss and lack of concentration. Other symptoms include drowsiness, lack of concentration, auricular fever, and lack of hearing. Mental fatigue is a psychological feeling after excluding physical problems, and may be triggered by lack of sleep or inadequate nutritional supply. If more than one of these manifestations occurs at the same time, it is likely to be characterized as what is known as “fatigue syndrome”.

Fatigue is related to the disorders of the five organs

From the perspective of Chinese medicine, the appearance of fatigue is closely related to the imbalance of the five viscera. Different symptoms may be related to a particular internal organ, for example, lack of qi is mostly related to the lung. Chinese medicine believes that the overall activity of the human body depends on the state of vital energy. The Yuan Qi ” Human nature inborn and nourished later”, means that the Yuan Qi from the parents of the essence, after birth, mainly from the diet of water and grain essence of the supplement and nourishment, while relying on the normal function of the spleen and stomach and with the help of the natural qi (i.e. good air), although they are tired, but there are differences in the form.

 

People can be divided into the following four main body types:

 

  1. Phlegm-damp body type: This type of person is not only obese, but also has a lot of fatigue and phlegm, is easily sleepy, has lazy limbs, has stomach discomfort after eating, and has loose stools. In addition to the Chinese medicine can be adjusted, can also rely on long-term physical exercise to improve. Including jogging, swimming, Tai Chi, “Eight Duan Kam” etc.
  1. Qi deficiency: these people have insufficient lung energy, lack of energy, it would have a feeling of fatigue when little working. Since the strength of liver qi is related to the immunity of the body, they are prone to illness. Other symptoms include laziness, frequent sweating, a low voice, a pale tongue with white fur, and a weak pulse. Although exercise can be encouraged, it is necessary to start slowly and increase gradually. In addition, you can use the Qihai point in the abdomen as the center of a circular massage, three times a day, for 10 minutes each time. This method can strengthen the spleen with stomach and nourish the essence.

 

  1. Yang body type: These people have low overall metabolism and will show fear of cold, depression and drowsiness. In addition to taking Chinese medicine, you can also use the “warm umbilical cord method” to strengthen nephron. The method is to use a lit moxa stick to moxibustion on the umbilicus above the Shen Pao point for 15 minutes twice a day, mainly to feel the warmth and tolerable.

 

  1. Depressed body: most of the manifestations are unstable, easily depressed, lack of perseverance, suspicious and other psychological imbalance. Of course, physical discomfort, such as fullness in the ribs and poor sleep, may also occur. However, it is closely related to the ups and downs of emotions. Talking and sharing with others is the easiest way to guide yourself. At the same time, you can also try “rose yam porridge”. The method is to make a congee of rose, coix seeds and Chinese yam with rice, 1 to 2 bowls a day.

 

In any case, the feeling of fatigue is very disturbing. In addition to discomfort, people sometimes wonder if it is a lie. So we must face it head on and find the right way to manage it. Otherwise, the sub-healthy state of fatigue may turn into a real disease, and that would be a problem.

Parents Daily 為全港父母提供關於親子育兒、升學的豐富短片和內容,專輯內容包括「有星有Say」、「校長有話兒」等節目。我們以輕鬆活潑的方式為父母們提供培養孩子的資訊,更會邀請幼小校長、名人、資深教育工作者等分享教學、親子心得和實戰經驗,讓父母可以在這裡得到實用資訊之餘,更可認識更多互相分享、互相扶持的同行者。

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Parents Zone

What can I eat to refresh my brain and enhance my memory?

October 2022

Written by : Registered Dietitian (Australia)

Chung Yong Man

 

It’s exam season and students are studying hard for their exams. Many parents ask, “What are the best foods to help your child refresh and maintain a good memory?

 

Carbohydrates

Carbohydrates are digested and converted into glucose, which provides sufficient energy for the brain. Therefore, I recommend eating an appropriate amount of carbohydrates at each meal to maintain the effective functioning of the brain. Food sources include grains and cereals such as rice, noodles, bread, oats, etc., and high starchy vegetables such as potatoes, corn, sweet potatoes, chestnuts and taro. Choosing high-fiber grains and cereals such as whole grain breakfasts, oats, whole wheat bread and red rice will help stabilize blood sugar and maintain concentration.

 

Omega-3 fatty acids

Omega-3 fatty acids, such as EPA and DHA, are the main elements that make up the brain’s cell membranes and nerve tissues, maintaining the normal transmission of messages in the nervous system and helping to maintain good memory. Omega-3 fatty acids can be obtained from eating deep-sea fish such as salmon, tuna, mackerel, etc. I recommend eating 2 to 3 meals a week, with each meal being about 2 to 3 ounces (the size of the palm of your hand). In addition, almonds, walnuts and avocados are also rich in omega-3 fatty acids.

Lecithin

Lecithin is one of the important elements in the composition of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine, so adequate intake helps to revitalize brain cells, make thinking sharper and enhance memory. Eggs, soybeans and their products such as tofu, soy milk and baked beans with ketchup are rich in lecithin.

 

Iron

Iron is the main element in the production of red blood cells, which transports enough oxygen and nutrients to the brain to help keep it awake. Red meats such as beef, lamb and ostrich are rich in iron, and I recommend eating 2 to 3 meals a week at about 2 to 3 ounces per meal. Iron can also be taken from dark green vegetables such as spinach and red kidney beans, but since plant-based iron is more difficult to be absorbed by the body, foods rich in vitamin C, such as oranges, kiwis and tomatoes, can be eaten at the same meal to increase absorption.

Antioxidant Nutrients

Stress and poor diet can increase free radicals in the body, which can damage body cells and accelerate degeneration, or impair memory. Vitamins A, C, and E are antioxidants that protect brain cells from free radical damage and prevent memory loss. Foods rich in vitamin A include carrots, pumpkin and spinach; vitamin E can also be obtained from nuts, eggs and dried beans.

 

The above nutrients can promote brain health, but we should not only focus on the intake of a single nutrient. I encourage people to diversify their diets as much as possible to get enough nutrients to keep the brain functioning optimally.

Parents Daily 為全港父母提供關於親子育兒、升學的豐富短片和內容,專輯內容包括「有星有Say」、「校長有話兒」等節目。我們以輕鬆活潑的方式為父母們提供培養孩子的資訊,更會邀請幼小校長、名人、資深教育工作者等分享教學、親子心得和實戰經驗,讓父母可以在這裡得到實用資訊之餘,更可認識更多互相分享、互相扶持的同行者。

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